For Things We Left Unsaid
by lemonsdarling
Summary: She grips him by the shoulders and says, more firmly, "William, I'm sorry. But," she presses her fingers against his skin, holding his eyes, "I had every reason not to trust you." (Yumi & William, takes place during the CLE timeline)


I really wanted a situation where Yumi finally calls William out on all of the past crap he's done, and this story happened as a result. If only this conversation had taken place within the show.

* * *

The first time Yumi went to the flat, she was half-convinced that William had made up the whole backstory and had actually broken into some unrented place and started squatting there. The key he used to open the door didn't convince her, and the studio room set the tone: a couch that had seen better days, a card table, and a large mattress shoved up against the back wall. William scratches the back of his head and shrugs. "My parents never really finished putting the place together, I think they were planning to when they came back…"

Yumi steps over to the little kitchen area and crouches down to look in the fridge. There's a couple of beers and a sausage that — she quickly sets it back on the shelf after getting a better look — has definitely seen better days. "You haven't actually been _living_ here, have you?" she asks. William turns around, shrugging out of his jacket and throwing it over the arm of the couch. "Not really," he says, "Jim would get suspicious if I wasn't at every dorm inspection, he already thinks I'm some big delinquent—"

Yumi snorts. "Not like you've ever snuck out in the middle of the night before."

William grins and continues, "—so mostly I just head here when I need a little time to myself."

She nudges the fridge shut and notices the stack of paperback books by the couch. They're mostly older, with frayed edges and weak spines, and when she gets close enough to read the titles there's nothing she recognizes. Curious, she picks up the book at the top of the pile and skims the summary — sci-fi, action, space crews, lethal battles, a soldier forced to hunt her old comrades. She looks up and William's shifting uncomfortably, and Yumi says, "I didn't know you liked to read much."

"There's a lot you don't know about me," William says, a rough edge to his tone, and it must have come out harsher than intended because he looks as taken aback as she feels.

"William…" She sets the book down, unsure how to continue. William seems to take her silence as an answer.

He laughs harsh and shrugs his shoulders. "But this is it now, right? We're friends. Everything's _cool_." His voice lilts with sarcasm on the last word.

"William…" She tries again, reaching out a hand to place on his shoulder, but he pushes her away, angry, and she steps back in surprise.

She's not sure what to say. The tension hums heavy between them, and Yumi closes her eyes for a second and tries to put her thoughts in order. Maybe she shouldn't have come, she realizes, a sudden sense of unease creeping along her spine. It was William's suggestion, anyway, just an offer he'd made out the side of his mouth, all casual, like he had expected her to turn him down. She's starting to wonder why she didn't — there's nothing left between them, right?

"So that's it, then." William spits out, his jaw held tense. "You don't even know what to say. '_No, William_," he mimics her voice, pitched too high,"'_we're all friends now_.' Was that a lie, too?"

"William—" Yumi steps forward. He steps back, almost hitting the couch.

"I know you don't trust me. None of you do." His voice rises in frustration, "What else am I supposed to _do_?"

She grips him by the shoulders and says, more firmly, "William, I'm sorry. But," she presses her fingers against his skin, holding his eyes, "I had every reason not to trust you."

He frowns, jaw working as he holds her gaze. "What am I doing _wrong_?" He sidesteps away and her hands fall back to her sides. She smooths her fingertips across her jeans, trying to ground herself in her thoughts.

"It's not what you're doing now," she says, "It's what you _did_. Come on, showing up at my house late at night, doing that stupid two-bit Casanova act and trying to get me to kiss you, and then following us around the entire next day at school like a creep when I didn't You weren't exactly making the best impression."

William goes pale. "I don't remember that," he says.

It hits her with a sense of dread, the realization that of course he doesn't and she knows he isn't going to take it well—- "You didn't trust me," he starts, voice rising, anger laced in his words, "so you made it like it never happened. How many other things don't I remember? Did I help you guys out? Did you yell at me then, too?"

"I'm not—" Yumi throws her hands up in frustration. "I'm not yelling at you. I'm telling you that you've been a stupid, jerk of a guy and I was getting tired of it all, and," she stumbles around her words, trying to put everything she's felt into logical thoughts, "and you can't just blame us for everything that's happened, William. You were there too."

"I was possessed!" he shouts, and she flinches back from the force.

"No," she says, softly. "Before that. The stupid rivalry between you and Ulrich— the way you kept coming on so strong…" She clenches her fists, can practically see XANA flashing in William's eyes, can remember the time he touched soft fingers against her cheek and then shoved her into the digital sea, how the fear had spiked as familiar as when he'd grabbed her arm hard and told her he'd find out her secret, before he'd ever been touched by XANA's control.

His face is closed off and distant, and the moment lingers tense between them. "William, listen to me." Yumi relaxes her hands and stares him straight in the eye, trying to connect past the haze of his expression. "I like you, but you _scare_ me. The things you did scare me. When XANA…," she trails off, "but before, too. You were being creepy or making me uncomfortable, and I felt powerless."

She watches recognition flicker across his face, and the horror that follows. "You still think I'm like XANA," he says, voice hoarse.

"No," she says, firmly, even as the memory stays strong in her head.

He continues like he hasn't heard her, mouth twisting sardonically, "I thought you said you _liked_ me."

"Sometimes being around you felt good. I felt," she pauses, caught on the old feeling, the pleasant way her stomach had jumped when he'd smiled at her as they'd sat beneath a tree and talked about music, how there was finally something other than Lyoko and worry to think about, how his attention had been completely and obviously on her, "wanted. You were romantic and it was …new. But sometimes," she frowns, "it felt like it wasn't even about _me_, it was a competition that you just wanted to win. It was weird, William. And it didn't feel good."

"But I lov—"

"No, William," she cuts him off, suddenly feeling overwhelmingly tired . "Maybe you liked me, but you were in love with the idea of me. And that got old, fast. You said it first, we barely even know each other."

His expression darkens, and he runs a hand through his hair, brow furrowed. You have to listen to me, she thinks desperately, I _have_ to be getting through to you. "When XANA—" William pauses. "When I was—"

She nods, and doesn't say the word. It still sends shivers up her spine, reminding her of watching William fall to his knees, trying desperately to get through to him as he grappled within his own head, how he'd stood up and she'd known he wasn't there anymore, that XANA was, and always had been, in control.

"I remember," he says, hoarsely. "How scared you were of —of me." He reaches out for her hands and then pauses again. "But the thought of you kept me going."

Yumi's heart sinks, a combination of guilt and frustration wrestling in her gut. She crosses her arms. "I can't _save_ you," she says. "I'm not — William, I can't be what you want me to be. No one can."

"I don't want to lose you," he says, and she watches as his expression crumbles, his shoulders slumping at the last of his angry bravado slips away. He looks young, terrified, and he sits down hard on the couch. His head in his hands, he continues, "You're the only one who knows what happened," a harsh laugh, "not like anyone else would believe me if I told them."

Yumi sits down next to him and sighs. "I'd like to be your friend," she says, then adds with a frown, "when you're not being a jerk you're a pretty cool guy."

He looks up and she swiftly adds, "—but, it's going to take time. And you have to start treating me like a real person, not …not this weird image of me you've got in your head." Yumi shakes her head, "I can't save you and I can't be your prize, either, William."

He looks at her, his eyes serious and intent. "Yumi." He says, and it's in a way she hasn't heard before, like he's really listening to the word for the first time.

"Got it?"

"Okay," he replies, expression still serious. "Nice to meet you, Yumi."

She laughs lightly and nudges him in the shoulder. "Nice to meet you too, William. I hope you're someone I'd like to get to know."

Something flickers across his face and she frowns, a moment of doubt lingering in her thoughts, the sense of unease still hanging in the air, but William just rubs a nervous hand against his knee. "Friends?" He asks.

Yumi holds up a hand. "I have the right to tell you to back off."

He nods, and she continues, with a small smile, "we can try to be friends." There's silence for a moment, and she looks past him to the pile of books, this piece of William that she didn't even know existed. Genuinely curious, she adds, "So tell me about the book you're reading."


End file.
